Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
