I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Say something about gay babies.
you would pick up someone in the library
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
