and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
