good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
