I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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