I wanna passion pit in your ass
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
