We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
