That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
