What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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