I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
