But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
