meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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