Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
