soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
