yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
