Nicole vs. Life
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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