This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Fuck appropriateness.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
