dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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