it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
