Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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