I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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