I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize