remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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