It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
