You smell like stripper and shame
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
