why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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