I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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