My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
