Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
