not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
