So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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