Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
