drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I am available for nakedness
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