It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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