Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
