She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
