Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
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I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
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Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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