I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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