he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have fence marks all over my body
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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