And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
