I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
