am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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