the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
