I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
