Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
