May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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