wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Who died my cat blue again?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
