Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
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