found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
