Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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