the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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