he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
