i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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