dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Oh god it's open bar.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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