I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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