it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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