We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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