I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
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