I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
