why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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